Becoming More Like Meldrew

Monday 15th May 2017

Strange to be away from the house on a Monday morning. Good to be at Jenni’s though. Did quite a bit of work before she woke up. We were still laughing about the ‘shouting soup’ reference to the vomit incident on a game show clip last night. I had tomato soup then got the one o’clock bus back to base. Been concerned about ransomware as I use Windows XP. Prefer it to the ‘7’ that came with the brand new computer in 2000. I know, I’ll have to upgrade to 10 – or whatever the latest package is eventually. Currently backing up everything to external hard drive just in case. Has taken nearly five hours so far, only another 10% left to go. Thousands of photographs, hundreds of word files. Got the rest of my session work done this evening. Made a new lined notebook. Ate a tuna salad. Aim to be in bed by midnight. 10.34 pm.

Tuesday 16th May 2017

Bit chaotic in Waddy session trying to keep everyone happy on the computers – doing edits on anthology work, but it’s early days. I’m sure it will all come together over the next six weeks. Got a bit of my own stuff copied up afterwards. Had a lush chicken rendang and rice then left at twenty to six to deliver a session on characterisation at New College Durham. Some lovely responses to the questions. Afterwards I just sat on the bus and gazed out the window at the oncoming dusk. Little yellow mini-link speeding through Witton Gilbert, Lanchester, Leadgate and Consett. No-one got on at the station. Home by ten. Chuffed to see online that Corbyn got a good response in Leeds. Be good if liars on tv could fuck off until they learn to be neutral for a change. Pineapple. Chocolate. Peanut butter on crackerbread. Then back to bed. 10.40 pm.

Wednesday 17th May 2017

Thought I was coming to the end of a run of workshops but they’ve been extended a further eight weeks. Will look at ways of expanding content. Walked from Nevilles Cross to Meadowfield and back this afternoon. Cambian session started a bit late, but we had a good hour. Read most of BREATH by Ellen Phethean today. THE BOX poem is stunning. Read it three times. Slept on bus to Newcastle. Had an eat4less baguette then over to Jen’s place. Watched first episode of Three Girls. I know the story from original newspaper reports. Shocking to see kids treat so horrendously. Bus to Consett intercepted one back to Moorside OK. Looked at trials bikes online. Most cost well over a grand. 10.33 pm.

Thursday 18th May 2017

Only one repeat session today but due to waking at half four this morning I’ve been more hammered than usual. Good workshop but glad to be done with public engagements. Slept for an hour late afternoon, didn’t get any more work done. Fucking election bullshit taking up a bit of time. Watched the second episode then conclusion of ‘Three Girls’ today. Powerful stuff. Maxine Peake was brilliant. Lesley Sharpe good too. Watched a video of the Rollins Band from September 1987. One of the best for showing the sheer ferocity of the band. Read the rest of BREATH by Ellen Phethean and some Bukowski poems. Wrists aching. Sore in session this morning. Pleased to be done for the week. Well, except Poetry Jam publicity. 11.37 pm.

Friday 19th May 2017

Humanity seems fucked. Monsters are taking over, duping the little people into voting for their own demise. Seems the monsters have hoodwinked too many to fail. Can do no wrong in the eyes of the blind. The propaganda machine just too strong. War, genocide, disease, calamity. Criminalization of thought. Divide and conquer. Whilst dangling golden carrots for donkeys. If we all run a bit faster, we’ll get there. We’ll taste the wealth. Let’s get the best deal. Give us your vote and your inheritance. Eat shit and die stupid. Don’t listen to the opposition, they’re terrorist sympathisers. Even if they told you they created the terror you wouldn’t believe them. Just keep watching the television. Keep consuming. Then get up to work in order to feed your habit. The monsters loom large. Don’t open the door, get down. Humanity seems fucked. 11.30 pm.

Saturday 20th May 2017

The older I get the more impatient I become. Since arriving at the Newcastle Academy I’ve been outside twice. Caught the last two songs of Skeletal Family but sound hurting ears despite plugs. Watched two Pauline Murray songs then came back outside. Some old school Goths in there, but a lot of us just balding, overweight, jeans and t-shirt guys. Some with big logos. I prefer a subtle breast print and maybe dates on the back. I’m in a seated nook right at the back of the venue for a bit of comfort. Had I known for definite before leaving Jen’s place that The Mission aren't on till after nine I wouldn’t have left the house till half eight. Can’t be bothered with expensive fizzy water or the stench of beer. Don’t think my ears can take music gigs for much longer. 8.45 pm.

The Mission’s set was proper mint. Really chuffed to see the band again. Even though it’s only seven months since last time. Got a bit nervous when an elderly woman started dancing in front of me and stayed for three songs, not facing the band for any of them. Beyond the Pale, Metamorphosis, Blood Brothers, Wasteland, Naked and Savage, Tower of Strength, Deliverance and loads of other great stuff played tonight. Jenni originally planned to meet me afterwards but online indecision over stage times and curfew stopped this. Pleased the weather changed for the better. Short sleeves after eleven. Good evening. 11.17 pm.

Sunday 21st May 2017

Got an ulcer on my tongue. Mouth real sore. Ears ringing louder than yesterday due to the gig. Me and Jenni watched two episodes of Cracker today. Spent a bit of time scrolling and reading political articles online. This time next month we’ll all know. I’m late to bed. Peston on Sunday repeat not worth staying up for. 11.46 pm.